Jorg Coubeck

INTERVIEW:

Name: Jorg Coubeck
Age(at time of death or by appearance): Appears to be 35
Classification(what is your character?): Monster; Krampus
Appearance(A self-drawn picture or a detailed paragraph will suffice):  ((SINCE I CAN'T WRAP MY HEAD AROUND DRAWING THIS--)) Jorg is average height.  He has messily cropped brown hair that flows into muttonchop sideburns, pointed features including ears, and a long split tongue with sharp teeth.  His top half is relatively human (though hairier than most) and he wears a white business shirt and tie with a harness for a large basket on his back that is usually filled with some children. His bottom half is cloven goat legs and a devil's tail, though it can become human for stealth-- he amuses himself by exposing himself to the rest of the office, changing his bottom half from goat to human. 



How did you end up at Underworld Industries?
A few centuries ago, my name was only uttered in a frightened voice by Southern Germans and Austrians. The children, that is.  Ya see, back then was the golden ages-- used to ride around with Sankt Nikolaus and whip the bad kids.  Maybe kidnap 'em for a while. Nothing weird, don' worry. Justa job. Kids aren't my thing. Tell ya the truth, I wish it were ladies. Anyways, I digress. Time went by, and people stopped disciplinin' the children. Nikolaus was gettin' a fat head about this gift giving shit, and next thing ya know, I'm outta the picture.  Sankt Nikolaus is now 'Santa Claus' and I never had no say in it. Underworld Industries offered to help my career a bit if they had summa the profits. 'Sa good deal, I took it.


What are your strengths and weaknesses?
Pretty intimidatin' if I do say so myself.  Also-- grade a love-maker. The human part, that is. Or are you adventurous--?

Weaknesses. Not available.

How do you establish a working relationship with new people?
What do I care about working relationships? How's i sposed to know people don't like it when I show my schlange?

Tell me about a challenging situation you have faced. What was the situation and how did you cope with it?
Fallin into obscurity, mann.  Doing the best I can.

Is there an achievement of which you are particularly proud? What is it? Why is it significant?
Bein right hand man to Saint Nick or the Christ child. Those days is long over, though.

Have you had to convince a team to work on a project they weren't thrilled about? How did you do it? 
This does not apply. I was cast outta my team like rubbish! After centuries of stellar performance. Jesus.

List any references you may have (optional):
Sankt Nikolaus; Christkind. but don' call em, they say they don't know me.

Congratulations. If you answered all of the required questions and have been accepted, Welcome to the Underworld team!

LMAO oh god, I laughed way too hard XD This obv = the real reason why Mitch wanted out of the monster floor. :I XD Spider whore'd be all over that, though--/shot

Accepted XD

HANS'S WORST NIGHTMARE REVEALED--

Oh God I love him, he is so amusing xDD

@plum-- FFFF too bad Yakaterina can't use him as leverage for her 'be nice' campaign-- she's too Jewish :I XD He'd be okay with that-- you don't get much ladies when your occupation is "child snatcher" /shot XD

@blank-- LMAO HE'S THE MICHAEL TO HER PAM-- FFFF I can't wait to write with him

askdasdakjsdk FFF

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3e_MeNh0JQw

She won't be walking into his office though, she'll just be unfortunate enough to walk by his cubicle--

REVENGE. REVENGE--! /sobs unccontrollably

The one thing that can bring Herman's PTSD thundering back. :c but now Allie has someone to talk street to B)

"HOW IS SHOWING ME SOME GUY'S DICK SUPPOSED TO MAKE ME ACT NICER??" It would be totally lost on him, lmaooo XD Jorougumo use babies as bait; she clearly has no morals anyways. :I XDD

@blank-- FOREVER YES.

"WHAT ARE YOU DOING???? YOU SAID COME IN--"
"I sure did B)"

If you got it, flaunt it :I XD

@Panic-- FFFF lmao yes XD he just trollfaces all the Germans there XD

@plum-- LMAOOOOO fff well the krampus is lost on her as well XD

I don't think "I have a baby" is an effective strategy to catch bachelors :I XD

If someone tried to explain it to him, he'd never get it; he has no ethnicity, so cultural things fly over his head. :I "And what the hell is Christmas, seriously, a fat guy and this nudist pedophile over here break into your house--and people look forward to this??"

It was back in the day in Japanland; there are like, a million youkai that use things disguised as babies (spider eggs, for jorougumo) to distract men. :I And it's the same story every time: they make them hold it (usually, it turns really heavy to weigh them down). And apparently this worked. XD I just don't even--